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Posts Tagged ‘leadership excellence’

25 Leadership Maxims

“We will never know how really good we are as leaders unless we are leading people to be better than they think they are.”

“Poor performance is less harmful to a leader than mediocre performance disguised as good performance.”

“Most leaders are striving to get the wrong results or the right results in the wrong ways.”

“The lowest forms of leadership involve rewards and punishments.”

“Getting along is not necessarily getting results.”

“If you can’t feel it, you can’t lead it, and they won’t do it.”

“Leadership is the trim tab of all careers.”

“Leadership is seeing hope in any adversity.”

“To make a difference, be the difference.”

“In leadership, you don’t have to expect the worse, you just have to make the most of it when it happens.”

“The best leaders make use of the simplest of ideas.”

“If you are always right, you are usually wrong.”

“The best way for a leader to communicate an idea is to bundle it in a human being.”

“The most persuasive art of leadership is to hide your leadership.”

“Refraining from action is sometimes the best action.”

“It’s not so much what you say as a leader that’s important; it’s the action the people take after you have had your say.”

“In leadership, the value of every need is in its use.”

“Leadership is not about living a easy life for ourselves but a hard life for others.”

“We ourselves are our own biggest obstacles to becoming better leaders.”

“Leadership is showing people not that they must take a certain action but that they GET TO take that action.”

“Half the art of listening is waiting.”

“To get the best out of people, embrace the best in them.”

“People are often unaware of the best that’s in them. When you show it to them, you are half way down the road to motivating them to be your cause leaders.”

“Achievement needs three things, the leader, the cause leader, and the moment.”

“In the long run, the most important results of leadership are not what we achieve but what we become in that achieving.”

10 Reasons Why Friendliness Is A Leadership Necessity
by Brent Filson

We’ve heard it many times, “It’s a dog eat dog world.” The trouble is, some leaders actually believe it. They conduct themselves like the alpha dog in a pack, holding sway through intimidation. This instinctive behavior helps insure survival in a dog world, but applied to the human world of organizational dynamics, it can lead to disaster.

Alpha dog leadership can eventually turn out to be destructive to the people, their organization, and the leaders themselves. To use another common metaphor, “That dog won’t hunt.”

After all, leaders do nothing more important than get results; and the best results are what I’ve been teaching for more than two decades, “more results faster, continually.” An alpha-dog leader might chew up people to get more results and get them faster, but I submit that it takes a far different personality trait to engender the “continually” aspect of the imperative. That trait isn’t the despot modeled by so many leaders, it’s … well, friendliness.

Having a friendly attitude as a leader means eschewing the alpha-dog way of leadership. It means being gentle, kind, helpful, and cordial in your relationships, even in times of anger and stress — ESPECIALLY in times of anger and stress. Here are 10 reasons friendliness gets far more results than an alpha-dog way.

(1) We stay in control. Apha-dog leaders seek to control others. But they misconstrue what control really means. In truth, such leaders are really out of control much of the time, since they’re at the mercy of their emotional outbursts and the reactions of others to those outbursts. In leadership, the best way to control a situation, i.e., the best way to get great results, is to put the people in control. Don’t constrain them through short-term compulsion but liberate them by playing the “longer game.” Unleash their initiative and creativity by allowing them to make free choices, and they will be under your “control” in more profound and effective ways than the alpha-dog leader could imagine.

(2) People respond more openly and positively to friendliness. Humans seek happiness; and friendliness is a great way to spread happiness. It enables you to communicate much more effectively because it bonds you with others in ways that anger, coercion, intimidation can’t. And that bonding is the stuff that great results flow from.

(3) We are modeling good interactions, bringing the future into the present. Whether leaders know it or not, their words and actions are carefully watched by the people they lead. People have an instinctive need to model those words and actions; or if they disagree with them, speak and act in opposite ways. By radiating friendliness, leaders are being the means that are the ends in the making.

(4) We make real issues relevant factors, not false issues like anger and intimidation. Friendliness tends to clarify issues; intimidation, because it is associated with fear, obfuscates them. So often intimidating leaders make themselves and their tormenting ways the issue. Whereas the real issues should be, how do we get results, how do we get more results, how do we get faster results, and how do we get “more, faster” continually? The fear they provoke is like crack cocaine, temporarily stimulating but addictive and in the long run destructive to the leader and the people.

(5) With friendliness, we set the agenda. “A good offense is the best defense” applies with friendliness. You should be on the offense with friendliness, displaying it even in challenging circumstances when it may take an act of disciplined courage on your part. This helps you set the agenda in terms of how people respond to one another in these circumstances. Of course, your friendliness will not affect some people who may be determined to subvert your leadership no matter what your attitude is; however, friendliness can, like the clearing of brush-lines to contain a forest fire, keep rancor from spreading deeply into the organization.

(6) We increase the chance that others will support our cause. The truth is that leaders can’t motivate anybody to do anything. The people make the choice to be motivated or not. Friendly leaders have the best chance of creating an environment in which the people make that choice. As Abraham Lincoln said, “If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great highroad to his reason, and which, once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing him of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause is really a good one.”

(7) Our opponents can be put off balance. As a leader, you’ll often have people working against you, spoiling for a fight; and when they encounter a friendly attitude on your part, they may be thrown off balance in benignly effective ways. Furthermore, your friendliness can encourage others to take up your cause against them.

(8) With friendliness everybody has an opportunity to win. Unfriendly leaders often win battles but lose wars. They may compel others to get on board; but if those others do so out of compulsion and not genuine conviction and motivation, the fruits of any victories can become ashes. Most people welcome friendliness — even if they disagree with and even dislike the leader. Furthermore, our friendliness can prompt the people we interact with to reflect on their own character, a prerequisite for their choosing to be motivated. In an environment of friendliness, all parties have an opportunity to achieve something positive.

(9)Friendliness is fire prevention equipment against your burning bridges behind you. An opponent may seem to be your opponent today but in the future you may need him to be your partner in implementing changes. Friendliness gives us an opportunity to have productive relationships even with those who oppose us, enriching both the present and the future.

(10) Getting results through friendliness can take a lot less energy than getting results through coercion and intimidation. Friendliness isn’t an absolute necessity in leadership. I’ve seen great leaders who were terrific curmudgeons. It’s just that unfriendly people have to go through a lot more trouble getting people motivated.

Two caveats. One, friendliness can be mistaken for weakness. In fact, friendliness can BE weakness if it manifests as a way of avoiding challenging people to do the hard things to get great results. In leadership, friendliness has a clear function which is to people achieve constantly improving results. This entails your challenging people to do what they often don’t want to do. Anybody can be nice to them and let them do what they want. But a leader must continually be challenging people to struggle mightily for extraordinary results. If friendliness doesn’t help you fulfill that function then it’s simply a lifestyle choice, not a leadership tool, and ultimately in terms of leadership, a weakness.

Two, even if you do use it as a strong leadership tool, you certainly can’t be friendly 100 percent of the time. If you try to be, you’ll find yourself becoming a rather one-dimensional leader. One of the most difficult accomplishments facing any leader is simply being who you really are – especially under pressure. To force-fit friendliness in a situation where you might not ordinarily exhibit it or to use friendliness to manipulate people into conforming to your wishes is not the best leadership uses of friendliness.

It may be a dog-eat-dog world; but by progressing in the Way of friendliness, leaders can invest their lives and this world with moments of beauty and meaning — and get more results in the bargain.

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to: brent@actionleadership.com

Word count: 1450

“He Hate Me” was the nickname of Rod Smart, a leading rusher in 2002 for the Las Vegas Outlaws of the now defunct XFL pro football league. Looking for an edge, the XFL allowed players to put nicknames on their uniforms.

“I was always saying, ‘he hate me,’ all through camp in Vegas,” Smart said. “If I didn’t get the ball, I’d talk to the other running backs and say, ‘He hate me, man; this coach hate me.’ I was always saying that.”

Smart put He Hate Me on the back of his number 32 jersey, and now the name lives in lore, though XFL has been out of business for years.

When I first saw Rod Smart play and his “He Hate Me” jersey, I thought, “Forget about football. That’s a leadership lesson!” That’s because “He Hate Me” and leadership often go hand-in-hand.

Clearly, leadership is not about winning a popularity contest, it’s about getting results — not just average results but more results faster continually. To lead people to get the latter, you often must challenge them to do not want they want to do but what they don’t want to do.

That’s where “He Hate Me” comes in. When you move people from being comfortable getting average results to being uncomfortable doing what’s needed to get great results, strong feelings, hatred and anger, are often triggered. Having people resent you, even hate you, comes with the territory of being a leader. In fact, if you are not getting a portion of the people you lead angry with you, you may not be challenging them enough.

This does not mean you consecrate their anger and let it fester. You absolutely must deal with it. After all, you can’t motivate angry, resentful, “He Hate Me” people to be your cause leaders.

Here is my four-step process to help you deal with angry people you lead. (1) RECOGNIZE. (2) IDENTIFY. (3) VALIDATE. (4)TRANSLATE.

RECOGNIZE: Recognize that if you don’t face up to the anger of the people you lead, that anger will eventually wind up stabbing you in the back.

Many leaders could care less about people’s anger. They say in effect: “People should do what I tell them to do. Period. Their feelings are irrelevant.” If ‘my-way-or-the-highway’ is your way of leading, don’t engage in this process. I submit, however, that such leadership is far less effective than the leadership that motivates people to be your ardent cause leaders.

Making motivation happen involves first understanding if people are angry with you or not. Often, people won’t tell you they are angry. They’ll try hide it from you either out of embarrassment, trepidation, or wanting a sense of control.

Here are ways you can recognize that people are angry with you. The first is that you can see it on their faces or their body language. The second is that you can tell it in a drop off in their performance. The third is that you hear from other people they are angry. The fourth is they actually show you and tell you they are angry.

IDENTIFY: Identify the causes of their anger. This may not be as simple or as easy as you think. They may be angry, but they may not want to talk about why they are angry or even admit to you that they are. Don’t back them in a corner. Don’t make judgments. Don’t get angry yourself. Get interested. Don’t say, for instance, “You’re angry … ” Instead, ask open-ended questions like, “Are you angry with me?” — a question that seems on the surface only slightly different but that will make a big difference in the consequences of your interactions with them.

Once you and they have identified that they are angry, come to an agreement as to the actual reasons why. Drill through superficial reasons to the bedrock of why. They may say they are angry because you are giving them more work to do. But digging further, you may find out that they believe the supposed extra work will set them up for failure, and they might lose their jobs. So, they are really angry not simply for work-load reasons but for job security reasons.

VALIDATE: Validate their anger. Their anger is real and important to them. It’s who they perceive themselves to be (at the moment they feel angry) in their relationship with you. Many people embrace their anger. They may see it as the one thing that they can control in an environment in which they feel out of control. If you try to ignore that anger or belittle it, they will feel you are belittling them.
Tell them that you know they are angry and that you want to find out why. Avoid saying things like, “I know you’re angry … but … ” That “but” can harden them against you. Saying, “Help me understand why you feel angry about what I’m doing.” can get you farther than the “but.” This is not to condone their anger nor approve of it but simply to come to an agreement with them that it exists and that you intend to do something about it in a way that will be mutually beneficial.

TRANSLATE: Their anger is your opportunity, an opportunity to translate their anger into your results. Because, as you’ll see, their anger can be great raw material for results.

People get angry for many reasons. * Their time is being wasted. * Their individual worth is not respected. * They feel threatened. * Their efforts are not appreciated. 5. They are not given voice or choice in their work. * Their values are not recognized or given credence. * Their leaders cannot do their jobs well. * Their leaders focus on their own needs. * Their leaders don’t understand and acknowledge their needs. * Their leaders don’t provide clear direction. * They are being overworked. 11. They are being set up to fail.

Here is a process for translating their anger into your results.

I call it the problem/solution/action process. The key to this process is that people’s anger usually stems from an unresolved problem. A. With their help, identify the problem. B. Come to an agreement with them as to the causes of that problem. C. Help them find a solution. D. Challenge them to take action to solve the problem. E. Link that action to increases in results.

You can apply this process to any of the aforementioned reasons people get angry. As an example, let’s apply it to the first reason. Often, a key challenge in getting others to take new action is their complaining you are wasting their time.

A. Draw up two lists, one composed of the aspects of their job they believe waste their time, and the other of the aspects they feel are crucial.

B. Come to an agreement with them on which aspects are truly a waste of their time and which aren’t. Without such agreement, they may remain angry with you. For instance, they may feel that their having to complete a particular report or aspects of that report wastes their time. If you think that such reports are absolutely essential, you cannot continue this process unless you convince them that the reports are essential or that you will change them to make them essential.

C. Once you come to that agreement, work on each aspect in the “waste of time” list by applying this analytical tool: Decide if you want to leave it alone, change it, or eliminate it. There is no fourth choice!

D. If you have chosen to change it, have them suggest actions they will take to do so. Note the sequence here. Your first step in changing an aspect is to elicit from them what needs to be changed and the actions required to affect the change. If need be, you can always veto their choice. But if you first let them make that choice, you may find that they have delineated actions that tap a new vein of results. At the very least, they will be committed to those actions, since they go right to the heart of solving the problem of their anger.

E. Link those actions to increases in results. For instance, now that they have reduced, eliminated or changed a particular aspect of their job that was a problem for them, how will that translate into money saved/earned?

Be advised: You may be confronted by “professionally angry” people who will be angry and stay angry no matter what you do. Just being you or just being a leader or just being you as a leader gets them angry, and nothing you can do or say seems to change that. But keep working the four-step process. It’s your best way of remedying even the “professionals” anger.